Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
