Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
