so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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