I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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