soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
