The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
