Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
