take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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