I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
