Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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