i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize