he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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