I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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