Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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