Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
