i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
