If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
