i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Drunk is not a location!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
