Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
