i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
