Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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