I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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