i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
