3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
