How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
