Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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