Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize