so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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