I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
