if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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