the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
