The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
