I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
