I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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