I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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