it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Come see our sink grown plant.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
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