Where is the hickey?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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