she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
