Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize