Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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