And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
