i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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