Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize