dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize