Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
