So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
