You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
