On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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