I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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