Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
