Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
