Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
