"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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