Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
