I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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