Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
