Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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