yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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