Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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