you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
