I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize