You work out of a Hotel?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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