his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
