Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
