your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
