finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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