I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
