I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
