he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
