i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize